Now, I’m not going to lie, I can’t really remember much of my labour or birth as I slept through it all.
Yep, that’s right, I slept through my labour!
I have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually, when I deal with pain, all I do is sleep!
Going through my teen years I had it pretty rough with my periods. I got my period when I was 10 and with that, came very heavy bleeding and excruciating cramps and would get to the point where pain killers no longer worked.
The first day of my period, every month, the pain would be so bad that my body would just shut down and I would end up fainting. So, for me to be able to deal with the pain - I would just try to sleep it off. That’s how I got through most of my bad periods.
So when I experienced my contractions - all they felt like were my period cramps, so all I felt like I had to do was just sleep!
But I am getting ahead of myself now.
It all started on Wednesday night, 13 May.
My partner and I were still living at home with our parents in our respective households and we were moving into our new house, 15 May after a long-awaited 90 day settlement period.
On that Wednesday night, I was having a shower and when I got out of the shower I had a type of fluid coming out. I was thinking it can’t be, I was only 36+1 and I hadn’t even had the chance to move into my new home. So I didn’t really think that much of it, so I went to bed. I woke at around 4am to a very wet pad, it wasn’t soaked, but it was heavier than usual.
I didn’t think much of it, so I changed it and went back to bed. I then woke at 8am to the same thing, so I thought I better tell mum. She suggested that I call the maternity ward and of course, they told me to come up to be examined.
When I got there, they inserted a speculum. The obstetrician I had was a little rough, it was very uncomfortable and almost made me pass out. I then started to bleed, not heavy, but it wasn’t exactly light either. They couldn’t get a clear indication as to if it was my waters because of the bleed.
I then started to get mild contractions and that’s when my midwife suggested that something was going to happen and I was going to have my baby sooner than we thought.
As the day went on and we were waiting for something to happen, my bleeding settled down and eventually stopped. The obstetrician then inserted another speculum, this one was still not pleasant, but it was better. She explained that it wasn’t my waters and my cervix was still completely closed. They told me I just had an increase in discharge, which can be completely normal. They also said that the bleed and the contractions were just from my uterus and cervix being irritated from the previous speculum.
After being at the hospital for 9 hours, I was sent home.
The next day came and we moved into our house. We didn’t have any of the baby stuff set up as we were due to get our carpets steam cleaned on the morning of 19 May. In fact, we barely had anything set up with the exception of our bed, a couch and our dining table - our house was very bare. Everything was going well, we were moving everything in, getting set up and spent our first two nights in our new home.
On the morning of 17 May at 5am I woke up to yet another wet feeling. I went to the bathroom and this time, there was fluid with a pink tinge to it. Again, I didn’t think too much of it and thought it was just a little bit of blood from the speculum I had a few days earlier. I went back to bed and woke at around 8am.
I only had liners on this time because it really wasn’t as much as previous. I didn’t say anything to anyone as I thought I was fine and everything was all good. My mum, sister, her best friend and I all went to Fountain Gate at around 11am, as I wanted to get a few more baby things and needed stuff for the house.
As we were walking around I started to leak through, I went to the chemist and got some pads because I knew the liners were definitely not heavy enough. I changed to a pad only to realise I had pink fluid actually dripping out of me like a leaking tap.
I then started to get little tightenings and thought it was time to tell mum. We then phoned the maternity ward and went straight there.
When we got there the same thing happened again, the speculum was inserted, the test then came back positive, confirming that my waters had broken. The senior obstetrician came in saying there is a potential that it could be a false positive due to the pinky blood in my discharge. He performed an ultrasound only to realise that all in my upper uterus, there was no fluid surrounding my baby. By this time I was getting mild contractions and was told if nothing progressed, then at 6.30am the next morning they would induce me with the hormone drip.
Everything stayed the same, I still had mild contractions and was slowly losing fluid. I was given a Temaz and a Panadeine Forte to help get some much-needed sleep overnight.
Now, I knew I shouldn’t have taken the Panadeine Forte because anything stronger than Panadol or Nurofen typically makes me nauseous and sometimes even vomit. Although it helped with the pain, I was feeling very nauseous most of the night, so I was given the good sh*t (Ondanz) to help with nausea (am I the only one that thinks it tastes amazing?!)
I didn’t get much sleep overnight and neither did my partner being in the very uncomfortable blue recliner chair.
6.30am came around and nothing was happening, I was examined and I was 3cm dilated. I didn’t want to be induced, so I asked if there was a possibility for me to continue going the way I was going to see what would happen. It was highly recommended that because my baby was classified as ‘prem’ that it wasn’t really a good choice, but it was up to me. I went with their recommendation and agreed to be induced and was then hooked up to the drip.
The morning staff came on and one of our amazing friends was our midwife and as soon as she walked in, we knew that we were in the best hands.
From about 8.45am everything became a blur. My contractions were so intense, they lasted for 40-60 seconds and they were what felt like 10 seconds apart. I remember wanting a shower and just wanting to stand but due to the constantly foetal monitoring every time I stood it would just fall off. So, they inserted an internal foetal monitor directly on my baby’s scalp.
From then on all I did was sleep. I slept through every painful contraction. I don’t really remember anything at all. I did know that my drip was on the lowest setting and they wanted to increase it, but I wouldn’t let them as I was in so much pain and couldn’t bear the thought of it getting worse. The pain was that excruciating that they offered to give me morphine but I shut them down straight away because I knew if I was given morphine I would be sick and I would rather be in agonising pain then to feel nauseous.
Though my waters did break, it was only at the top of my uterus where they broke and there was still pressure from my waters at the bottom of my uterus on my cervix which was contributing to my painful contractions. My midwife broke the rest of my waters and after that, it felt much better.
At around 10.30am I was examined again and I was 7cm dilated. I continued to ‘sleep off’ the pain, I was absolutely out of it. Then before I knew it, around 11am I felt like I needed to do a poo and all I kept saying was ‘I need to do a poo!’.
Next minute I just started pushing, I couldn’t help it at all - it was like my body just took over and did all the work for me. I remember my midwife telling me to stop as I was only 7cm dilated so I wasn’t ready to push. She then quickly examined me again to realise that I was fully dilated and that she could feel my baby’s head.
From then on I continued to sleep, waking up to every contraction to push. I remember looking at the clock and it was 12pm, I had been pushing for an hour. I was absolutely exhausted and I couldn’t do it anymore - all I wanted to do was sleep. Every time I pushed, all my baby did was slide back up, I couldn’t hold her down. It got to the stage where they were ready to do an episiotomy and use some form of intervention, whether it was the forceps or the vacuum, I couldn’t really remember.
I don’t know what happened, but it was like a switch just flicked inside of me, and I just pushed and pushed and pushed because I knew that’s not what I wanted. It got to the point I was pushing that much I was getting told to slow down. I pushed and pushed and then my baby’s head came out. I remember reaching down and touching my baby’s head. It was the most surreal feeling I have ever experienced, it was amazing.
Then, with one last big contraction and one last push her shoulders popped out and the rest of her little body just slid out. I remember struggling to keep my eyes open as I was so tired, but I looked down and there she was, she was out, she was born after a very short 4-hour labour.
Elsie Maeve Fairlie born at 36+5, 18 May 2020 at 12:47pm, weighing 3.065kg (6 pound 12) and 51cm long.
This was a love I had never experienced at all before. I finally understood what my mum was talking about, the love that you have for your children. The love I felt for this tiny little human was incredible. She was totally worth every little bit of pain, worth the tear and every little stitch I received.
That moment, when I first laid eyes on my perfect little girl, was the best moment I have ever experienced and I would go through all the pain again in a heartbeat to experience that moment again.
There is truly nothing like the love I feel for my little Elsie girl and I am so blessed to be able to have that feeling every single day for the rest of my life.
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