I birthed like a Boss!
Throughout my pregnancy my birth plan was simple; vaginal delivery, no drugs, no intervention.
At about 36 weeks I had an appointment with my obstetrician, he checked this plan and prepared me by saying that most first-time Mummas need a bit of help and that plan doesn’t usually eventuate. Later I told my husband Matt this, I remember him saying 'well your obstetrician doesn’t know you like I do when you set your mind to something you usually achieve it because you’re a stubborn b****’.
I had been researching birth plans and pain management techniques for months. My favourite resources were the book ‘Birth Skills’ by Juju Sundin, ‘Birth like a Boss’ online course by Lynn Jackson-Taylor and the ‘Gentle Babies’ essential oils book by Debra Raybern. I had written out a plan for myself, one for Matt and I had made a birth skills bag. My birth skills bag included a TENS machine, a wooden massager, a head massager, stress balls, a hot water bottle, a heat pack and essential oils with sniff rags. I always remember people telling me that their partners didn’t know what to do or how to help, so in the true style of a teacher, I wrote him a 20-page list of notes of things he could do to help. He told me later, he only read the first-page #groan.
I had been in pre-labour for about four days when I lost my mucus plug. The next day I remember waking in a puddle of liquid and thinking that I hoped my waters had broken and that I hadn’t just wet myself. I told Matt on his way to work to meet me at my GP appointment at 10.30. The GP gave me a once over and sent me to the hospital to check what was happening. I had an internal examination and a test that confirmed that my membranes had popped. We made a plan to go home and get this little man moving naturally. If we couldn’t, we would come back at 6am the next day to be induced.
Nothing much happened for the rest of the day, I had some tightenings and the pressure below was building but active labour hadn’t started yet. At 9.30pm Matt and I decided to go to bed thinking that we would have a big day coming.
I never got to sleep that night as the contractions gradually started to build. At about 11pm I woke Matt and we started using the TENS machine (a TENS machine sends small electrical pulses through the body, kind of like little electric shocks. This pain is used to distract you from other pain, e.g. contractions) Matt and I paced up our hallway for the next 2 hours, every time a contraction came Matt would turn the machine on to distract me. I loved the TENS machine, it worked well for us and helped me manage the pain the best we could. After 2 hours the pain was getting more intense and I knew I needed to introduce something else to help me match the pain. So I got out my sniff rags (a cut up flannelette nappy), I started with Clary Sage and later on, I also used some Young Living oils called Stress Away and Peace and Calming.
We kept pacing up and down the hallway, every time a contraction came, Matt would put the TENS machine on and I would sniff the rag. This got us through the next two hours. Eventually, the pain was so bad that I couldn’t keep walking, so for the next hour I laid on the bed and used the TENS machine and the rags. I was on my side with my long pregnancy pillow between my legs. By about 4am Matt and I decided that it was time for the hospital. When we arrived I was examined and absolutely blown away that I was already 5cms dilated.
In my head I thought I am halfway, we have been going for 5 hours, I can endure 5 more. Next, I decided to have a shower - in hindsight, this was a bit of a mistake because once I was wet I couldn’t use the TENS machine anymore. By this stage the pain had really intensified and I kept thinking about what Juju said in her book, ‘you need to match the pain’. I was in the shower and I was past the stage where a massager or stress ball was going to cut it. I remember saying to Matt you have to squeeze me. The stronger the contractions got, the more I insisted that he squeezed as hard as he could.
The pain got so bad and I was so set on trying to match it, that Matt was clawing his nails down my back (the scratch marks and bruises the next day were crazy). Eventually, an amazing midwife named Beth said “Matt you are doing a great job but how about I show you some pressure points so that you make more of an impact”. As soon as Beth put her fist into the pressure point on my back, I felt a sudden urge to push. I remember saying to Matt it is too early to push but that is what every part of my body was telling me to do. Beth asked me to get back up on the bed and said that she could see the bubbas head.
This is when shit got real.
It was the most intense pain that I had ever experienced in my life.
I was laying on my back and had been pushing for about 20 minutes when his heart rate dropped and the midwife told me that I had to keep pushing even when there weren’t any contractions to get him out as quick as possible. I mustered up every ounce of determination, strength and energy I had left and I pushed for the next 20 minutes straight - no breaks.
It was excruciating, but I did it. Hudson Matthew Jeffers was born at 6:05am on Wednesday 1 July after approximately 7 hours of active labour. I had a second-degree tear and had to be stitched up because of his quick arrival. Then I got to hold my beautiful bub for about an hour and give him a long feed.
Matt and I were an outstanding team, we worked together to perfection to bring our bub into this world. Next time, we would just learn more about pressure points and add this to our repertoire of pain management techniques.
After that, I went to have a shower. As all of the blood, sweat and gunk washed away, I looked over at my boys and my tears started streaming down my face. My heart had never been so full and I had never felt such a strong sense of love, belonging and connectedness. We had made a family and it was the best feeling in the world. I remember a midwife named Jill saying to me while I was in the shower “it is girls like you that will end up back in here within the year”.
My birth experience was one of complete and utter empowerment, excitement and success. I had never felt so strong and brave. I was proud to be a woman, proud that a team of boss midwives brought this bub into the world, proud of what my body could achieve and so incredibly proud to be a Mum. This was truly the best experience of my life. While I was caught up in my own Huddle bubble thinking I had birthed like an absolute boss. I had to reassure Matt that I was okay because he was worried about how I looked when I was pushing and getting stitched up.
I know that I am lucky that my birth plan was executed to perfection, I truly understand that not everyone gets what I got and I feel grateful and blessed for my experience.
I know that I would have done anything to bring my son into the world safely and I would go through all of that pain every single day for the rest of my life if that is what I had to do to keep him.
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