R U OK? day is such an important day to shine a light on mental health but it can also be quite confronting.
What happens when you ask a loved one, colleague or friend if they're okay, and they respond with 'no, no I'm not'?
We are often so unprepared for that answer.
The Australian Culture sees us asking 'how are ya?' and 'how's it going?' as a greeting but we never stop or slow down to hear the answer and we have it ingrained in us to answer 'good' as an automatic response when asked. So many times in the past I have been asked how I'm going and the word 'good' leaves my lips and a smile washes over me - all whilst I feel like I'm dying inside and I found myself standing there perplexed by my answer and feeling even emptier than before the question was asked.
So, don't let 'are you okay' be another empty question that you ask unless you are completely prepared to keep the conversation going if the word 'no' surfaces.
It can be challenging and takes a lot of courage to authentically ask R U OK and even more courage to voice your thoughts and feelings.
We have heard it time and time again, that this year it is more important to ask than ever and whilst that saying may feel as overused as the word 'unprecedented', there is truth in it.
There are people that come from privilege and have never faced adversities that are now unemployed, there are those that were just starting to find their feet before the pandemic hit that have hit rock bottom yet again, those that had such high hopes and big plans for this year that are now left not knowing where they stand and then there is everyone in between - and we all have permission to feel the weight of the current situation.
Because that's the thing, mental health does not need permission, it does not discriminate. It doesn't care for your education level, socio-economic status or relationships.
There is an analogy that I find very useful when talking about mental illness, it's to think of mental illness as a weight loss journey. Someone you know may be eating a completely clean and healthy diet and exercising regularly but that doesn't mean that their weight instantly falls off - it takes time and consistency and dedication to better yourself for it to have lasting effects.
It is also easy to revert back to previous behaviours and feelings in the early days of change. Think about a time when you're trying to be healthy and you're driving in the car, it's past your lunchtime and you're hungry, you've had the will power to drive past the last three drive thru's but the forth is too much and you stop for lunch - you may feel ashamed and like it's too hard to change your mentality and behaviours but remember that change is difficult and takes time.
So, please know that I am always available to talk and listen if you are not okay. I have personally struggled with depression and anxiety and know how debilitating and isolating it can be some days.
I hope you're okay on this R U OK? Day.
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